(Not a Power Rangers viewer? Then this piece will mean nothing to you, please skip to the next entry)
1- Don't worry about the language barrier. Everyone in this universe, from distant lands to ancient times has some knowledge of contemporary English.
2- You may notice property rates in major cities are way down. This is for a very big reason as you'll soon discover.
3- Incidentally, working in a skyscraper would not be advisable. Ditto construction sites and warehouses.
4- Nor would driving in a car.
5- Never let your kids ride the school bus (unless they're over the age of 12, in which case martial arts is already second nature to them, and they can take care of themselves).
6- Civilian life is generally safe and secure but you can expect to be transformed into a statue, a bottle of perfume, a postage stamp, a lollypop or something equally outlandish. Effects are temporary
7- Also, you will inevitably be taken hostage and 'held for ransom'. Be warned, the local heroes fall for it every time.
8- Ranger-based peacekeeping is impressive but flawed. Violent offenders are dealt with with extreme prejudice but the worst of them are offered the benefit of the doubt, provided they express some interest in reform. As above, gullibility is a big factor
9- Never underestimate the redemptive potential of a small child in mortal danger
10- Ladies, do you like bike shorts? You better had cos you're gonna be wearing them a lot!
11- You'll meet many beautiful people. Men tend to be long-haired and bashful. Women tend to be badly dressed and have names beginning with 'K'
12- You may meet the love of your life. Just don't expect to talk about it much. Or kiss. In fact, if you want to do anything more than hold hands, forget it. Learn to love cold showers.
13- If city life is not to your liking, you may consider relocating to a more rural area. This won't help at all.
14- Have a favourite colour? Better make sure it appears in every item of clothing you own. And don't push your luck with purple or orange, stick to primaries.
15- Genius? You might find yourself acting as a kind of quartermaster for the local super team. You might well assume that you yourself will be granted superpowers at some point (plenty of those around, right). You might.
You probably won't though.
16- So, think you have what it takes in the heroics department, but are the wrong shape or size? Fear not! Meet the right people and you'll be issued with an amazing miracle suit that makes you 2 feet taller/ nice and slenderly proportioned, like everyone else! Just be prepared to never take it off.
17- So, you think you have what it takes in the brains and martial arts department to be a superhero, but you're only 10 years old? Yeah, well, go the hell away!! We don't want you. Nobody wants you. Go and find some adorable orphans to play with and stay the hell out of our sandbox!!
You wanna be a superhero, go ask Shazam.
18- Helmet hair is a non-issue.
19- As a warrior against evil, you'll be excellently equipped : lasers, swords, bazookas, daggers, crossbows, cannons, battle staffs and all manner of gadgetry, as well as a motorcycle that might even be flight-capable! And did I mention the giant robots? No jet packs though, sorry.
20- You must always abide by 3 sacred laws:
I) Never escalate a battle (unless you just wanna break out the auxilliary zords for the hell of it, cos those toys don't sell themselves.)
II) Never use your powers for personal gain (unless said powers are ill-defined and practically limitless, in which case use them for
everything).
III) Keep your identity a secret (unless you work for government or law enforcement, in that case let everybody know).
21- Don't worry about your enemies exploiting the knowledge of your true identity by going after your loved ones. It's doubtful this will occur to them.
22- Get used to talking with your hands.
23- When given the awesome responsibility of piloting a colossal war machine, rest assured that you'll instantly know all of said machines functions and how to operate them.
24- Superheroes in comics put on their costumes, Power Rangers have morphers. A morpher is a powerful and vital device, so it's a good idea not to leave it in your backpack, locker, or anywhere it might get lost or stolen. In fact, why not wear it on your wrist, 24/7. Nobody will notice.
25- Transformation, of course, takes at least a few seconds even in emergencies, ditto the arrival of back-up. Don't fret, the bad guys will wait.
26- If you're still in morphed form but not in action, you might notice some strange stylistic differences to your battle suit. If it is now ill-fitting, a different shade, has a rigid collar, and if your chest armour is now made of foil and your famous talisman weapon has been replaced by someone else's blaster, just go with it.
27- Speaking of blasters, try and remember you have one in close quarters combat situations. As Indiana Jones taught us, the gun is mightier than the sword. There is a time and a place for everything, however: simply blasting away indiscriminately while your friends are kicking and pirouetting about the place is just bad form
28- Genetic Powers also come in handy, don't forget those either.
Whaddya mean, you don't have any..?
29- So you and your friends are rubbing along quite nicely as defenders of Earth when some upstart jerk with no idea about any of it shows up out of the blue. Hate to break it to you, but that guy's your new leader.
And that sweet armour power-up you've been itching for? That's heading his way, too
30- Be prepared, you will at some point either be serving evil or meet an evil doppelganger. Don't let it bother you, it happens to all of us.
31- Travelling through time? Your ancestors and/or descendants will look exactly like you, bar hairstyles. This is a meaningless genetic blip, ignore it.
32- Just because you're a hero, you may not be a people person.
Loner heroes fall into two categories; you might be embittered, hot headed, quick to anger and resentful of your lot in life. Fear not! You can still find acceptance with a great group of friends (they just won't call you a friend, or think of you as one, or spend any time with you unless they need something. Then they'll leave, never to return) and even enjoy a (brief) romantic flirtation (with someone equally embittered, hot headed, quick to anger and resentful. Who will leave, never to return).
Alternatively, you might be a Noble Warrior and then all you have to worry about is loved ones thinking you're dead for long periods of time.
33- Picture your life as a Power Ranger: you're in a great city, you've met someone special, and your superheroic career combines your martial arts skills with your newfound love of motor racing.
Flash forward 8 years and you're single, living in some other town (not too far away, but much greener and with more rain), teaching high school science despite a huge catalogue of skills that now includes archaeology and genetic engineering. You also find most of the significant events of your life taking place in the same quarry.
And you seem to keep running into new people who seem so familiar.
And everyone talks with a weird, uneven accent you can't quite place.
Aw man.
MAY THE POWER PROTECT YOU!
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